Junk Male

Charlotte walks around the block with me this morning as we hand deliver 100 fliers for my new business to the people in our neighborhood. She has her heelies on, so some of the time she is hanging on my arm as I pull her along. We stop here and there to watch the local wildlife, mostly just squirrels and chipmunks. And pop into our friends place for a minute to say hello.

So, I feel just a teeny bit guilty, as I have now become one of the things I hate, a direct marketer. And am corrupting my daughter as well. Its amazing how easy it is to justify to yourself once you are on the other side of the fence. You just know that everyone will be so thankful you put junk mail in their letterbox, once they have the chance to sample your service.

Post another 50 later that day. The first batch are probably in the rubbish by now, so have to get more out there. :P

Justifications

I have a confession to make. I am a bad father. Every Saturday Charlotte has a soccer game, usually at 10am nearby, but today it's at 8:30 and is a few miles away. Charlotte was in pain last night, and I had to give her ibuprofen, as she been to the doctor that afternoon, and had shots in her arm including a tetanus shot. And she also recently had a fight with some poison ivy, and I put cream on a dozen spots on her arms and legs. So she is not exactly in a good shape atm.

Maybe we'll just her her sleep in today, and pretend our alarm didn't work properly.

So the question is, are we being nice to her, or just selfish, so we can sleep in ourselves in a nice warm bed?

...

Heavy breathing at our bedroom door. After a couple of minutes I wake up, and see Charlotte standing there. She of course had an alarm clock under her pillow, and I had "forgotten" to turn it off the night before. It's Sigrid's birthday, so we let her sleep, and creep downstairs to get ready.

So here we are, huddled and freezing on this miserable day, not enough rain to actually close the fields, sitting in our fold-out chairs, trying to wrap not-big-enough blankets around us, cheering on our "Pirates", who are running for the ball, or standing shivering in defence. What fun.

We just scored a goal. Yay!



Final score: Pirates 4, the other team 3. But its just a game, nobody cares about the scores. Ok, maybe just a little bit. :)

Floating Eggs

You would think Easter would be a time for eating eggs, but Charlotte had more fun flying them instead. Not exactly flying, more like throwing and then watching as they float down slowly on their attached parachutes. And then chasing to see if you can catch them before they hit the ground. Never-ending fun, as you can keep throwing indefinitely. Until you get cold of course and run back inside.

Of course later she had fun eating them too (after the obligatory easter egg hunt).

The Herd

Charlotte gave a scream of delight as she opened her eBay purchase, 7 Schleich horses, a rider, blanket, 2 saddles, and a bridle.




She added them to the rest of her family, including the real and makeshift stables.



I think we might have enough horses now :p

Bad, bad, bad

Some days words are not enough to express it. Take a look at this:



And that's just the top layer. There is lots underneath. This is all the food that we found while looking through Jake and Charlotte's rooms today looking for her wallet that she can't find. Instead we find they have been stealing food and taking it upstairs to their rooms, smug and self-satisfied that mum and dad didn't know what they were doing.

Grounded for two weeks, no after school clubs, early bed-time. But its not enough. How do we get them to understand this is a bad idea...

Udderly Irresistable

Charlotte tonight told me a bed-time story, since I couldn't think of one to tell her. She made it up as she went along, which was surprising, as the whole thing fitted together quite well. Its quite short, and it went something like this:

There were once four animals, a horse, a dolphin, a rabbit and a cow. Each represented a different aspect of life.

The horse, majestic and free, represented the soul, proud and strong.
The dolphin, quick and playful, represented the mind, intelligent and creative.
The rabbit, cute and cuddly, represented the heart, emotional and compassionate.
The cow, slow but content, represented the stomach, empty, full, and everything in between.

One day the horse, the dolphin, the rabbit and the cow came together for a party. Everyone brought something to eat, that they might all share with each other.

The horse brought cookies, the epitome of soul food.
The dolphin brought bananas, food to enrich everyone's brain.
The rabbit brought candy, little valentine sweets to make everyone smile.

The cow didn't quite understand the whole concept of party food, being, as we said, a little on the slow side, but nevertheless brought something that seemed appropriate, at least to her. Although the others were not exactly impressed with her choice.

"Can you guess what it is dad?", asked Charlotte, stalling a while so she could make up the ending in her mind. "No Charlotte, I can't."

'C'mon, guess, please?"
          "Um, was it grass?"
"No."
          "I don't know, tell me Charlotte."

Charlotte thought for a moment more, and finished the story with one quick statement, that sort of summed the whole thing up in a nutshell.

The bright bovine brought a cowpie.

Wipe Out!

A perfect day. Sunny, not a cloud in the sky. And in the last 48 hours it had snowed 9". Charlotte and I were at Ski Sundown, and the slopes were treating us well. We came early, and stayed late, Charlotte didn't want to leave. She even told me at one stage to leave her alone for a while so she could flirt a little with the boys, but they weren't accommodating, they were too busy skiing.

The only hitch came at the end when the main 2 lifts weren't working for a while, but they finally got them going again.

And wow, was Charlotte wiped out the next day! Did not want to go to school at all. Was a bit tired myself actually :P

And you thought I meant she fell down on the snow! Didn't you!? :)

Waterfalls, horses, alpacas, and animals of all description

On the way up to Mohawk Mountain today we saw an interesting waterfall, and had to scramble through the brush to get a good view. Then we stopped off at a farm and two horses came up and had a talk to Charlotte. Half a mile up the road was a lovely lady with 6 alpacas and a pony - Charlotte had a great time walking amongst them and having a nice chat (to them and to the lady).



Charlotte had a wonderful time on the slopes. She is really starting to get the hang of skiing, doing her turns nicely back and forth across the snow. This is the second time this year, and before that it was five years ago, so she has made fantastic progress.



We stopped for a nice hot chocolate at the half way lodge half way up the hill, and took off our skis and loosened our boots. Boy it felt good :)

Charlotte near the end of the day wanted something a little more challenging, so we tried another ostensibly easy slope, Ledges, which turned out to be more difficult than we thought. Charlotte got through the top section, but then came out further down going too fast and couldn't control it, and ended up falling head first on to the hard-packed snow. Ouch! Even with a headache though, she got back up the slopes for a final run.



On the way home, we found a guy who made metal sculptures in a unique style, animals mainly, very artistic. All in all it was a great day, and Charlotte really enjoyed herself - except for the minor concussion of course - lucky it was a no-school day the next day :P

Laughing Gas

"Breedbate": to pass gas while laughing. This was just one of several weird answers we made up for even weirder words in a game of Balderdash.

"Bantling": the offspring of a hedgehog, or a lame duck? No, its actually a spoiled brat.

"Mortress": dead hair, or a wall built to keep firebrands out in 1524? Sorry, its a hearty meat and vegetable stew.

"Leveret": an incorrect yet humorous answer, or a small lever? Nope, a small rabbit.

We won't mention who was doing most of the laughing, but it was the same as the one that made us run for the air freshener     :-/

Scary Horse Hair

Give everyone in the family their own personalized name anagrams for New Years, something weird and wacky:

Jake Wesley Richards: jeweler has scary kid

Charlotte Richards: horse cart child art

Sigrid Andrea Richards: desiring rad hair cards

Dark Side Cookies

Playing a game of Horse Lovers Monopoly, that Charlotte got for Christmas (and was over-the-moon about).

Jake lands on Sigi's stable, and has to pay up big. He thinks quick, and offers instead an alliance.

"Join the dark side. We have cookies. Low-fat cookies."

How could she refuse an offer like that?

You Schussed Wonderfully!

Charlotte is going for a school field trip in a couple of weeks, up to Mohawk Mountain for an evening of skiing. But first she needs a lesson, as its been 5 years since she skied last. So she and I drive up there today, get a little lost on the way and have to ask directions from a couple of guys at a bonfire (who was the bright spark that invented a road with the middle third just plain missing?)

After a couple of hours on the easiest slope, Charlotte has her lesson while I try out a few of the other slopes. Feeling like she is so much better, she decides after the lesson that she wants a challenge, so I take her on the green circle slope (easy, not like the black diamond most difficult ones). It is twice as steep as she had imagined, and she hadn't listened in class half as well as she thought she had. So after taking off her skis and walking the down the first half of it, she puts them back on and schusses down the easier half in style.

"Yay! Didn't I do well, daddy?"

"Yes, Charlotte, you did wonderfully!"

Presents Galore

Jake and Charlotte are very happy this year with their presents - amongst other things, they both get digital cameras so they can start their own photo libraries. Nikon Coolpix, Charlotte an L11 (her age), and Jake an L14 (only 3 months early).

Jake is thrilled to get a Nintendo DS, and Charlotte (the animal lover) just jumps for joy when she saw her Schleich stable :)

Terrificible

Just finishes setting up Terry. She (or he) looks good (or bad), depending on who you ask. Charlotte names him Terry the Terrible, too spiky, no color, and not as good as the one 50 feet away. Jake disagrees, and calls her Terry the Terrific, just perfect.

I am, of course, talking about the tree we just bought from Maple Row Tree Farm, after scouting all his brothers (her sisters), picking out Terry, and cutting him/her down, while Charlotte complains noisily that the one over there is just so much better. And we all freeze, especially Jake in his thin jacket that he didn't even want to wear at first, cause he thinks he doesn't feel the cold.

Charlotte's Daemon

Angelic Devils

Have you heard of that chinese torture where they let a drop of water hit your forehead, and then another, and then another, for hours and hours, until you just go crazy? Well, that's how I feel listening to the violins at the start of the concert. Every single "musician", if I can use that term loosely, plays a slightly different note to all the others, slowly tearing away at my sanity.

Then the wind instruments begin. At least they press a key to get a note, so they are mostly in tune, except, and there just has to be an exception, for the trombones. Timing, of course, is a completely different matter. All those blowers this time are trying to blow a hole right through my ear-drums.

They are only 6th graders you say, and I am being too harsh. They practiced very hard for this night. Maybe so, but at least I didn't have to pay money to come and hear it.

And then the choir comes on, some 150 girls and boys (mostly girls), my daughter amongst them, the dutiful father attending so his daughter doesn't grow up and say "what, you mean I have a dad?" I am tensing ready for the onslaught, but instead, what hits my ears is a melody so sweet that it sounds like a choir of angels. Well, not exactly angels, but I'm sure the tips of greyish wings were starting to poke out of the backs of those little devils, the ones that make their mother's cry and will make their fathers go broke when they get a little older.

After a few heavenly harmonies, thankfully dominated by the girls sweet voices, we are back to the final instrumental section, however by that stage my ears are not listening anymore. Lucky really, as I'm sure they sound quite awful.

Kid's Quotes 1

Jake: "Charlotte has a big mouth and a big head, but she makes up for it with a big heart and a big brain."

Charlotte: "I like pie!"

Jake: "Ok, a medium sized brain."

Enchanted

Kids drag us off to see another Disney movie. Is a bit too sugary for my taste. Lots of singing and dancing and big scenes with hundreds of people. And stereotypical fair maidens and evil witches and dashing princes.

And of course happily-ever-afters.

The kids love it naturally.

Slithering Serpents

Charlotte has been begging for a dog for months now, but so far all she has gotten has been two catfish (the irony is not lost on us). Jake decides he wants a pet too. A cat perhaps? A bird? No, he has become obsessed over the idea of getting a reticulated python.

He is quick to point out all the advantages, the ease of looking after, the low dietary requirements ("just one baby pig a month Dad"), and the wonderful show-and-tell opportunities involving hysterical girls at school.

One wonders how discriminating the snake will be when it has to choose between a piglet and a dachshund.
Update: its been changed to a Boa Constrictor, since reticulated pythons can only be looked after if you are over 21.

Bloody flying lip leaves

Thanksgiving leaves flying through the air
Landing and sticking in Charlotte's hair
Stuffed with turkey stuffing, heading for my hip
Roughplay with Jake, oops, a bloody lip