Timing is everything

Sometimes you can really get lucky. I'm in Detroit, on a business trip, late on a Sunday afternoon. I've just spent the last three hours at the Detroit Institute of Arts. Every second week is free Ford Sundays, so I got to enjoy all the amazing painting and sculptures for nothing, sponsored by Ford Motor Company.  Got a few really good photos. 

The previous day someone had mentioned a cool jazz bar in town called Cliff Bells, so I drive the few blocks south, find a parking spot (also free), and walk around the corner. Three guys are standing just outside the bar talking intently about something.  I veer around them, peer through the glass in the front door, and hesitate a moment.  Someone walks by me, opens the door and enters, so I follow him and stand inside, adjusting for a minute to the change of light. It's a very upscale bar, mahogany bar tops, and stylish lighting set the scene. Tables are scattered around, and the place is bustling with staff running here and there organizing something.

I sit down at the bar and order a Vodka and Sprite.  I ask how much, but they say it's free. I assume it's some sort of promotion, first one to get you hooked or something. The band is practicing up on stage, and they sound pretty good, so I relax and listen. 5 guys, one singing, the others playing.  They are actually very good. I listen till they stop practicing. 

The head of the band comes over for a drink, and I strike up a conversation with him. He has a crazy hairstyle, and unusual clothes. Turns out he is an Italian artist, and music is his other love.  Often plays the saxophone. But tonite he and his band are playing a somewhat unconventional instrument.  They call themselves  iBand. They play iPads.  You would be amazed at the sounds you can make with them, especially as a group. He gives me his business card, thin, black, with this crazy looking pic on it.  Apparently he did the pic himself. 

The staff really are busy.  They are all wearing special black shirts.  Most have a pretend suit, vest and tie painted on them in black and white, even the girls.  Some have big easily read words on the front, like "Drinks", or "Meat", or "Seafood".

I get another drink, and don't ask about the money.  They don't ask me.  I wait around for ages, passing the time in texting and checking out the artist's website, crammed full of fluorescent pop style art with swirls and comic characters and flowers and hippie girls and all sorts of crazy stuff. (www.fluon.it)

Eventually lots of people turn up, and fill the place nearly to overflowing. I get another drink.  The waiters come around and start serving delicious hors d'oeuvres.  They offer me one after the other till I can't eat any more.

Obviously I have stumbled into some private event, and miraculously didn't get stopped at the entrance.  Once I had been there a while everyone assumed I belonged. I saw other people being turned away, looking very disappointed. 

About 8 a guy gets up and gives a short speech, and introduces the band. I find out the event is being run by Volkswagen. It's the media reception event for the motor show being held in Detroit this week. All the big company hob nobs are there, and all the big media companies have sent their best people to cover the event. I think the guy talking was the CEO or someone.

The band plays for an hour.  Everyone loves them. I change drinks and have a Baileys instead. They leave for an hour, and while they are away another band plays, this time with conventional instruments. They are pretty good too. Then iBand comes back and plays for another hour.  They get 2 encores. The Volkswagen elite are clapping and dancing and having a wonderful time. We all enjoy ourselves immensely.


I stagger out of the place after 11, and wander back to my hotel room. The 5 alcoholic drinks have had 6 hours to settle, so I don't weave all over the road too much. I fall asleep soon after getting back, still flabbergasted that split second timing had turned my probably boring evening into an entertainment-filled and memorable one. 

Angelic Devils

Have you heard of that chinese torture where they let a drop of water hit your forehead, and then another, and then another, for hours and hours, until you just go crazy? Well, that's how I feel listening to the violins at the start of the concert. Every single "musician", if I can use that term loosely, plays a slightly different note to all the others, slowly tearing away at my sanity.

Then the wind instruments begin. At least they press a key to get a note, so they are mostly in tune, except, and there just has to be an exception, for the trombones. Timing, of course, is a completely different matter. All those blowers this time are trying to blow a hole right through my ear-drums.

They are only 6th graders you say, and I am being too harsh. They practiced very hard for this night. Maybe so, but at least I didn't have to pay money to come and hear it.

And then the choir comes on, some 150 girls and boys (mostly girls), my daughter amongst them, the dutiful father attending so his daughter doesn't grow up and say "what, you mean I have a dad?" I am tensing ready for the onslaught, but instead, what hits my ears is a melody so sweet that it sounds like a choir of angels. Well, not exactly angels, but I'm sure the tips of greyish wings were starting to poke out of the backs of those little devils, the ones that make their mother's cry and will make their fathers go broke when they get a little older.

After a few heavenly harmonies, thankfully dominated by the girls sweet voices, we are back to the final instrumental section, however by that stage my ears are not listening anymore. Lucky really, as I'm sure they sound quite awful.

High School Musical

Charlotte finishes the last of three performances of High School Musical, as part of the 2007 production by Wilton Children's Theater. She has been practicing hard for many weeks, and the last week has been busier than usual. She plays Rachel Ray, one of 5 cooks.

She really puts her heart and soul into this, and it shows in her exuberance and how well she performs. Even though she doesn't have a speaking part (mostly the 8th graders got those), she sings every word of every song with feeling, and dances her feet off. Couldn't be more proud :)

And just like Aladdin 2 years ago, the female lead has a voice like that of an angel, and the male lead can't sing to save his life :p

(click on the pic for a very large version - warning, takes a while to load)

You ktupid jackakk!

Warning: this makes no sense unless you were there.

Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood (from Whose Line Is It Anyway) leave us laughing our insides off at the Palace Theater tonight. From unicycle riding elephants juggling and writing poetry, to hippopotamuses getting strangled with spaghetti, from alligator wrestlers peeing their pants to double entendres, we are never left with a straight face for more than a few seconds.

The series of piano skits in styles from western (John Wayne) to roman (Clyamydia), and sci-fi (Yoda) to chick flick (chocolate), has something to tickle everyone's funny bone. Brad's sound effect of an elephant falling down the stairs covered in tambourines is outdone by the letter substitution snowboarding limousines, where every s had to be said as a k (and the image of socks hanging out of windows is forever impinged on our minds). And we will never forget how to pronounce Chickahominee.

And to finish off the night of improvisation, Brad and Colin sing a moped mechanic opera with sentences starting with letters ranging backward through the alphabet from X, and navigate across the floor shoe and sockless, and blindfolded, while 100, ok, 95 mousetraps viciously attack their toes and fingers. And other parts of their anatomy. Ouch. And double ouch.