Elevator

"Baaaa!"

Udderly Irresistable

Charlotte tonight told me a bed-time story, since I couldn't think of one to tell her. She made it up as she went along, which was surprising, as the whole thing fitted together quite well. Its quite short, and it went something like this:

There were once four animals, a horse, a dolphin, a rabbit and a cow. Each represented a different aspect of life.

The horse, majestic and free, represented the soul, proud and strong.
The dolphin, quick and playful, represented the mind, intelligent and creative.
The rabbit, cute and cuddly, represented the heart, emotional and compassionate.
The cow, slow but content, represented the stomach, empty, full, and everything in between.

One day the horse, the dolphin, the rabbit and the cow came together for a party. Everyone brought something to eat, that they might all share with each other.

The horse brought cookies, the epitome of soul food.
The dolphin brought bananas, food to enrich everyone's brain.
The rabbit brought candy, little valentine sweets to make everyone smile.

The cow didn't quite understand the whole concept of party food, being, as we said, a little on the slow side, but nevertheless brought something that seemed appropriate, at least to her. Although the others were not exactly impressed with her choice.

"Can you guess what it is dad?", asked Charlotte, stalling a while so she could make up the ending in her mind. "No Charlotte, I can't."

'C'mon, guess, please?"
          "Um, was it grass?"
"No."
          "I don't know, tell me Charlotte."

Charlotte thought for a moment more, and finished the story with one quick statement, that sort of summed the whole thing up in a nutshell.

The bright bovine brought a cowpie.

Kid's Quotes 1

Jake: "Charlotte has a big mouth and a big head, but she makes up for it with a big heart and a big brain."

Charlotte: "I like pie!"

Jake: "Ok, a medium sized brain."

Colorful Cocks

In India they color baby chicks, by injecting the eggs with dye. It doesn't hurt the chicks, and the kids love it. It lasts for only a couple of weeks, until the new feathers grow out.

So instead of just little cute yellow ones, you have little cute yellow, pink, green, and purple ones. "Chicks?" asks Bright facetiously, "you mean, just the female ones?".

"No, no, not at all" replies Sruthi, 'they color the, what do you call them, um, the cocks as well."

Well, I don't know, but for some reason I just can't get the image of glow-in-the-dark green condoms out of my head. As the founder of that particular company said, "We would like to give the phrase 'rise and shine' a whole new meaning." :-)

You ktupid jackakk!

Warning: this makes no sense unless you were there.

Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood (from Whose Line Is It Anyway) leave us laughing our insides off at the Palace Theater tonight. From unicycle riding elephants juggling and writing poetry, to hippopotamuses getting strangled with spaghetti, from alligator wrestlers peeing their pants to double entendres, we are never left with a straight face for more than a few seconds.

The series of piano skits in styles from western (John Wayne) to roman (Clyamydia), and sci-fi (Yoda) to chick flick (chocolate), has something to tickle everyone's funny bone. Brad's sound effect of an elephant falling down the stairs covered in tambourines is outdone by the letter substitution snowboarding limousines, where every s had to be said as a k (and the image of socks hanging out of windows is forever impinged on our minds). And we will never forget how to pronounce Chickahominee.

And to finish off the night of improvisation, Brad and Colin sing a moped mechanic opera with sentences starting with letters ranging backward through the alphabet from X, and navigate across the floor shoe and sockless, and blindfolded, while 100, ok, 95 mousetraps viciously attack their toes and fingers. And other parts of their anatomy. Ouch. And double ouch.